Monday, November 8, 2010

I feel fine, and it really isn't the end of the world

Hail and well met, gentle readers, even if it has been a while since I last wrote.  Things are just slow these days, you know?  There's only so many cooking assignments you can do, and only so many fishing expeditions you can go on.

Except things are actually heating up!  As I found when I was in Orgrimmar recently.  Which is weird, because I tend to avoid Orgrimmar.

I think it's because I once found it a very confusing place to get around in, and couldn't find my way *anywhere*.  I was constantly asking the guards directions.  It's got to the point where if a guard sees me approaching, he or she tenses up, with an "oh no, it's *him*, here we go again" look on his or her face.  Even though I can now get around the place fine.

But even though I can now find my way around Orgrimmar, I still tend to avoid the place.  It makes no rhyme nor reason, but there it is.

But there are times when you do have to go there.  It's the biggest of the Horde's cities and the most cosmopolitan.  It has the most trainers, the most commerce, and - most useful of all, considering how many earthquakes we've been having lately - it's not on the top of extremely high mesas.

(Though it is in the middle of a canyon, which could break and fall on us if there was some cataclysmic earthquake, so I suppose it's not much better.)

Anyway, so there I was, in Orgrimmar... and there sure are a lot of worried citizens these days.  If the increasing earthquakes weren't bad enough, it turns out there are lots of disappearing family members.  And cultists.  Don't forget the crazy cultists.  They're all over the Drag, going on about how the end of the world is nigh, and promising some sort of nonsense about a higher plane of existence after death, and trying to recruit new members.

Hence a lot of the disappearing citizens - they've gone and joined the cult.

I can understand why people would be worried - after all, there are all the earthquakes.  Not to mention, Thrall's handing the position of Warchief over to Garrosh Hellscream.  Some orcs might like that.  Others are like, "Wibba-WHAT?"  There hasn't been any formal announcement yet, but some adventurers went in to Grommash Hold on business, accidentally overheard, and the news is all over the place now.

What's really annoying a lot of people is that during the handing-over, Thrall apparently said Garrosh had the strength and courage to lead the Horde.  What about Cairne, or Vol'Jin, who are both on Kalimdor and close by?  They aren't strong or courageous enough?  Bah.

(But I suppose this at least explains why Garrosh is now wearing a great big branch around his neck and shoulders...  Maybe.)

Anyway.  Where was I?  Oh, right, the crazy cultists.

Well, to cut a long story short, a whole bunch of adventurers infiltrated the cult to learn its secrets.  You've probably heard it all from them already.  A quick summary - this new cult is being led by Cho'gall, leader of the Twilight's Hammer and overall piece of bad news.  The cult is taking advantage of the earthquakes and the unease of the populace, not to mention they're smuggling fire elementals into the city.  Fortunately everyone's doing their level best to get rid of the elementals.

You would think the cult is starting to get suspicious because of all the 'new recruits' who show up once and never come back.  Not so, said Blood Guard Torek.

"Now that the guards have been tipped off, we catch cultists smuggling in the fire elementals a few times every day.  Actual cultists, many of them dumb enough to wear their robes and suspiciously bulging packs.  The cult must be used to losing members on these smuggling runs.  It's probably why they're recruiting all the time."

All this has made me think of starting a cult of my own.  It would be the Adventurer Cult.  So much of what people worry about is along the lines of, "life is so unfair, I don't understand why the world is in such a mess, and wow I'm really scared about dying and is there anything after death?"  The Adventurer Cult answers so many of these questions!

1) Life unfair?  You get to go out and beat on something with a big stick, or balls of fire, or an equivalent, and somebody will pay you lots of gold to do so.  While life may still be unfair this is very therapeutic.

2) Once you get an RL avatar, you learn that a lot of your troubles are for their amusement.  Unfair?  Well, sure.  But you still get to beat up something with a big stick or big balls of fire *and* get paid to do it rather than asked to stop!

3) If you die in the course of your adventures, the spirit healer will help you return to life, at no extra charge.

No comments:

Post a Comment