Garrosh Hellscream, he not quite tha hotheaded warmongering dimwit that you be thinkin' he is on first, second, and third glances. Every now and den, he goes and does somethin' that be so spectacularly out of character you hafta think there's more to the bugger than bein' a hotheaded warmongering dimwit.
Take de other day. I'd been in de Stonetalon Mountains. De Cenarion Circle, dey was tellin' me bad mojo were happenin' over there, and to join up wit' de Horde in de Stonetalon Mountains and find out what was goin' on.
A whole lotta stuff happened, but basically Overlord Krom'gar and his General Grebo acted exactly like I expectin' orcs to act. Dey was mean and nasty, killin' innocent young hapless druids and fabricatin' evidence and blowin' up a centuries-old grove, all while yellin' their favourite battlecry, "FOR THE HORDE!" All to take de Stonetalon Mountains for da Horde, right?
Well. Right at de end of it all, tings, dey were really bad. Krom'gar's forces had destroyed a tauren settlement for darin' to disagree wit' their actions. Den Garrosh went and showed up.
To say I was scared when I saw him was a huge understatement. I was all expectin' him to be cuttin' me hands off, den tossin' me and the tauren chieftan off tha cliffs, and wonderin' if throwin' meself off da cliffs would save time or would be considered treason in his eyes. Den he surprised every one of us by tossin' Overlord Krom'gar off de cliff.
For a second, he looked like he was goin' to chop me hands off and throw me off de cliff too, 'xcept the tauren chieftan spoke up for me. Said I'd been tryin' to prevent the needless killin'. I wasn't to be sure if dis was makin' things better or worse, but Garrosh actually let me live. "This is what it means to be Horde!" he proclaimed.
So I gotta say that Garrosh be not quite the hotheaded idiot he seems to be.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Hail and well met.
And perhaps farewell as well. There may not be any more posts from me and Annekah. I've grumbled about the Horde before, but always managed to keep on going because of my loyalty to Thrall and the promise of his Horde.
This new Horde of Garrosh's? It's full of bellicose warring and hotheaded aggressiveness, which appeals to the orcs more than Thrall's Horde ever did. It cuts your hands off for daring to disagree. It absolutely ruins Azshara. It is nothing like the Horde that Annekah swore an oath to and we've had enough.
And perhaps farewell as well. There may not be any more posts from me and Annekah. I've grumbled about the Horde before, but always managed to keep on going because of my loyalty to Thrall and the promise of his Horde.
This new Horde of Garrosh's? It's full of bellicose warring and hotheaded aggressiveness, which appeals to the orcs more than Thrall's Horde ever did. It cuts your hands off for daring to disagree. It absolutely ruins Azshara. It is nothing like the Horde that Annekah swore an oath to and we've had enough.
De day it all changed
So's dere I was, headin' out Orgrimmar's back entrance to Azshara. Dere was dat goblin what had had me commandeerin' shredders to cut down trees and suchlike a week ago. Dere was dat orc watchin' over him -
De orc moved faster dan I could follow, whuppin' me in de gut and de chin wit' de pommel of his axe, and knockin' me down to de ground like I were a sack of raptor eggs.
"YOU USELESS WASTE OF FLESH!" he roared in me face. "THIS IS TWICE NOW! First you abandoned your missions here and buggered off to the Barrens! Then you abandoned your missions in Ashenvale and buggered off to who-knows-where! And finally, you think you can just come back here and all's good?"
"Er -" I started, starting to feel real scared-like.
"'All able-bodied members of the Horde are ordered by their Warchief to aid the Horde in Azshara!' Well you didn't! You didn't lend a helping hand at all! I AM NOW GOING TO TAKE THEM BY FORCE!"
Den he gave me a right good kick in me face, stunnin' me senseless, and den he chopped me hands off. I screamed a lot and den quickly died.
I nots be used to dyin' yet, I mus' say. Dere be all dese famous people in de world what died and not come back. Sen'Jin and Cairne Bloodhoof amongst them. It always be really weird to find meself as a ghost in de washed out grey of de spirit world.
At least, as a ghost, I had me hands back.
I ran off to get me body, as you do when you're dead, and found it still by de back gate of Orgrimmar. Standin' a bit aways, hopin' to run away if I needed to, I resurrected.
Damn but dat orc was quick. Before I knew what was happenin' he'd whupped me with his axe handle again and knocked me to the ground.
"This is for the second time you abandoned your post!" he screamed, and chopped me hands off again.
Once again, I screamed a lot and den died.
Very nervously, I approached the back gate of Orgrimmar as a ghost for the second time, hoping that perhaps this time the orc would at least leave me alone. What he'd been sayin' suggested he'd leave me alone, after all, it only been twice I'd abandoned a mission and buggered off.
I resurrected, tensed up, but dis time he weren't smackin' me around.
"You were to be cutting down trees and flushing out night elves, and killing them! You will now resume that mission!" He brandished his axe. "Otherwise every single guard will be ordered to cut your hands off every time they see you!" He pointed to the now-extremely sparse forest. "NOW GET TO IT SOLDIER!"
I tried, I really did. I went and gone commandeered a shredder, and cut down trees, and felt terrible. I applied the shredder's sawblades to the elves that dropped out of the trees. It was the killin' of elves. It was supposed to be happy. I was just feelin' sick. They didn't look much like anythin' after the shredder had done 'em in.
More elves attacked de back gate. Dey was suicidal, and no match at all for de gate guards. De guards called me in to help anyway. I pushed the shredder to its utmost, pilotin' it to de back gate as quick as it could be walkin'. Dere was more elf carnage.
Den dere was even more dey wantin' me ta do.
"There's an Ancient directing the elves. Go kill him for us."
"An ancient? A spirit of de forest, and you want *me*, a *druid* to go kill an Ancient-"
De orc pulled me from de shredder, whupped me wit' his axe handle, and knocked me flat to da ground. He lowered his face to an inch from me ear and screamed into it at full volume. "YES! WE DO WANT YOU, A DRUID, TO GO KILL A SPIRIT OF THE FOREST! OTHERWISE THE HORDE WILL BE OVERRUN! NOW GET TO IT, SOLDIER!"
Den he plopped me back into de shredder.
Shakin', and in stunned silence, I piloted the shredder westwards to find dis Ancient. I hardly had to search, he were huge and glarin' at me.
"Pathetic troll in your machine!" he roared. "I will exterminate you, like the weeds you Horde all are!"
I hopped out of da shredder. Dis were a really stupid move, as he instantly saw I were a druid and got even angrier.
"It's one of you TROLL DRUIDS!" he roared. "You traitorous barbarian savages! I'll rip you limb from limb!" And he charged.
Well, dere weren't much for it after dat but to fight. For all his size, goin' kung-fu bear on him (as much as I could be doin', anyway) helped me survive and defeat de Ancient.
Shakin', in nervousness and in anger, I ran back to de back gate.
"Good!" de orc said. "You killed him, for the Horde!"
"For the Horde!" the goblin echoed. "Yo, Annekah, I got another mission for you. There are still too many trees-"
I snapped. Knowin' I was doomin' myself, I shouted at him. "Dis were a great forest! Dere was a thrivin' ecosystem! Now you filthy gobbos and your bombs have gone an'-"
De orc whupped me again wit' his axe handle and down I went.
"Troll scum!" he roared, and raised his axe.
"Excuse me, I'm lost again, and- oh my goodness! What's going on here?"
"Donda!" I cried out.
"This able-bodied troll scum refuses to lend her helping hands to the Horde! We shall take her hands by force!"
"Uh-huh," said Donda, nodding. Then he was a whirl of motion, there were some THWACK noises, and de was orc laid out flat, Donda's staff pinning him to the ground.
"You can tell Warchief Kodo-Guano-For-Brains that he's got kodo guano for brains," Donda said cheerfully.
"Traitor!" screamed the orc. "Get him!"
Donda, he be flickin' his fingers, and callin' down Moonfires, missin' de guards by inches. Dey reconsidered, and slunk backwards.
"Good guards," said Donda. "Now, I'd really rather prefer nobody to be dying here, or chopping each other's hands off." He shook his head. "When Thrall was in charge, something like this would never have happened."
"Thrall was a weak-minded fool, with stupid human ideas!" roared de orc.
Donda pushed his staff hard an' de orc gurgled in pain. De guards advanced but some more Moonfires kept 'em at bay.
"Oh dear," Donda said, and shook his head. "Now, you listen to me. Actually, you all listen to me. Annekah and I owe a great deal - our very lives - to former Warchief Thrall. When we swore our oaths of service to the Horde, it was to Thrall, and we were glad to give our lives for him. I particularly liked his ideas about peaceful coexistence with the land. I thought that yes, these orcs were worthy allies.
"Garrosh Hellscream, on the other hand, has kodo guano for brains and is leading the Horde down a dark road you orcs have been down too many times before. Worse yet, it's clear that most orcs actually prefer him to Thrall. Well, he's no warchief of mine. Annekah?"
By dis time I were back up on me feet. "He be no Warchief of mine, nor of Vol'Jin's, either!"
"Very good. Though of course, Annekah, we've pretty much just quit from the Horde, with all these guards watching. You ready to run?"
And den we be runnin', and hidin'. Bein' druids, we good at dat. What better way to run fast, dan to change into a cheetah? What better way to hide, dan to change into a great cat and slink through de tall grass?
'xcept now Donda and I, we be pretty much out of da Horde. Whoops. Vol'Jin, he were sayin' dis is de exact wrong ting to do.
Donda looked around at da devasation of Azshara. "Deathwing bursts free, causing earthquakes and floods, and the world's gone mad. The Horde allies with goblins, and the next thing you know, they bomb Azshara so that it looks like the Horde symbol. Just look at the ruin of this place. Just listen to the spirits of nature crying out. Or, in your teachings, the loa of this place."
Dey were cryin' out, dat for sure.
"What be happenin' now?" I asked.
"Dunno," he said. "We could try joining the Cenarion Circle."
"De Cenarion Circle? Wit' all dem elves?"
"Annekah, the Horde *and* the Alliance are going to attack us on sight. You don't have that many options at this point. Yes, I know trolls don't think much of the elves, and they won't like you very much either, but at least they won't be cutting your hands off for standing up for yourself and for nature."
Dat was da day it all changed.
De orc moved faster dan I could follow, whuppin' me in de gut and de chin wit' de pommel of his axe, and knockin' me down to de ground like I were a sack of raptor eggs.
"YOU USELESS WASTE OF FLESH!" he roared in me face. "THIS IS TWICE NOW! First you abandoned your missions here and buggered off to the Barrens! Then you abandoned your missions in Ashenvale and buggered off to who-knows-where! And finally, you think you can just come back here and all's good?"
"Er -" I started, starting to feel real scared-like.
"'All able-bodied members of the Horde are ordered by their Warchief to aid the Horde in Azshara!' Well you didn't! You didn't lend a helping hand at all! I AM NOW GOING TO TAKE THEM BY FORCE!"
Den he gave me a right good kick in me face, stunnin' me senseless, and den he chopped me hands off. I screamed a lot and den quickly died.
I nots be used to dyin' yet, I mus' say. Dere be all dese famous people in de world what died and not come back. Sen'Jin and Cairne Bloodhoof amongst them. It always be really weird to find meself as a ghost in de washed out grey of de spirit world.
At least, as a ghost, I had me hands back.
I ran off to get me body, as you do when you're dead, and found it still by de back gate of Orgrimmar. Standin' a bit aways, hopin' to run away if I needed to, I resurrected.
Damn but dat orc was quick. Before I knew what was happenin' he'd whupped me with his axe handle again and knocked me to the ground.
"This is for the second time you abandoned your post!" he screamed, and chopped me hands off again.
Once again, I screamed a lot and den died.
Very nervously, I approached the back gate of Orgrimmar as a ghost for the second time, hoping that perhaps this time the orc would at least leave me alone. What he'd been sayin' suggested he'd leave me alone, after all, it only been twice I'd abandoned a mission and buggered off.
I resurrected, tensed up, but dis time he weren't smackin' me around.
"You were to be cutting down trees and flushing out night elves, and killing them! You will now resume that mission!" He brandished his axe. "Otherwise every single guard will be ordered to cut your hands off every time they see you!" He pointed to the now-extremely sparse forest. "NOW GET TO IT SOLDIER!"
I tried, I really did. I went and gone commandeered a shredder, and cut down trees, and felt terrible. I applied the shredder's sawblades to the elves that dropped out of the trees. It was the killin' of elves. It was supposed to be happy. I was just feelin' sick. They didn't look much like anythin' after the shredder had done 'em in.
More elves attacked de back gate. Dey was suicidal, and no match at all for de gate guards. De guards called me in to help anyway. I pushed the shredder to its utmost, pilotin' it to de back gate as quick as it could be walkin'. Dere was more elf carnage.
Den dere was even more dey wantin' me ta do.
"There's an Ancient directing the elves. Go kill him for us."
"An ancient? A spirit of de forest, and you want *me*, a *druid* to go kill an Ancient-"
De orc pulled me from de shredder, whupped me wit' his axe handle, and knocked me flat to da ground. He lowered his face to an inch from me ear and screamed into it at full volume. "YES! WE DO WANT YOU, A DRUID, TO GO KILL A SPIRIT OF THE FOREST! OTHERWISE THE HORDE WILL BE OVERRUN! NOW GET TO IT, SOLDIER!"
Den he plopped me back into de shredder.
Shakin', and in stunned silence, I piloted the shredder westwards to find dis Ancient. I hardly had to search, he were huge and glarin' at me.
"Pathetic troll in your machine!" he roared. "I will exterminate you, like the weeds you Horde all are!"
I hopped out of da shredder. Dis were a really stupid move, as he instantly saw I were a druid and got even angrier.
"It's one of you TROLL DRUIDS!" he roared. "You traitorous barbarian savages! I'll rip you limb from limb!" And he charged.
Well, dere weren't much for it after dat but to fight. For all his size, goin' kung-fu bear on him (as much as I could be doin', anyway) helped me survive and defeat de Ancient.
Shakin', in nervousness and in anger, I ran back to de back gate.
"Good!" de orc said. "You killed him, for the Horde!"
"For the Horde!" the goblin echoed. "Yo, Annekah, I got another mission for you. There are still too many trees-"
I snapped. Knowin' I was doomin' myself, I shouted at him. "Dis were a great forest! Dere was a thrivin' ecosystem! Now you filthy gobbos and your bombs have gone an'-"
De orc whupped me again wit' his axe handle and down I went.
"Troll scum!" he roared, and raised his axe.
"Excuse me, I'm lost again, and- oh my goodness! What's going on here?"
"Donda!" I cried out.
"This able-bodied troll scum refuses to lend her helping hands to the Horde! We shall take her hands by force!"
"Uh-huh," said Donda, nodding. Then he was a whirl of motion, there were some THWACK noises, and de was orc laid out flat, Donda's staff pinning him to the ground.
"You can tell Warchief Kodo-Guano-For-Brains that he's got kodo guano for brains," Donda said cheerfully.
"Traitor!" screamed the orc. "Get him!"
Donda, he be flickin' his fingers, and callin' down Moonfires, missin' de guards by inches. Dey reconsidered, and slunk backwards.
"Good guards," said Donda. "Now, I'd really rather prefer nobody to be dying here, or chopping each other's hands off." He shook his head. "When Thrall was in charge, something like this would never have happened."
"Thrall was a weak-minded fool, with stupid human ideas!" roared de orc.
Donda pushed his staff hard an' de orc gurgled in pain. De guards advanced but some more Moonfires kept 'em at bay.
"Oh dear," Donda said, and shook his head. "Now, you listen to me. Actually, you all listen to me. Annekah and I owe a great deal - our very lives - to former Warchief Thrall. When we swore our oaths of service to the Horde, it was to Thrall, and we were glad to give our lives for him. I particularly liked his ideas about peaceful coexistence with the land. I thought that yes, these orcs were worthy allies.
"Garrosh Hellscream, on the other hand, has kodo guano for brains and is leading the Horde down a dark road you orcs have been down too many times before. Worse yet, it's clear that most orcs actually prefer him to Thrall. Well, he's no warchief of mine. Annekah?"
By dis time I were back up on me feet. "He be no Warchief of mine, nor of Vol'Jin's, either!"
"Very good. Though of course, Annekah, we've pretty much just quit from the Horde, with all these guards watching. You ready to run?"
And den we be runnin', and hidin'. Bein' druids, we good at dat. What better way to run fast, dan to change into a cheetah? What better way to hide, dan to change into a great cat and slink through de tall grass?
'xcept now Donda and I, we be pretty much out of da Horde. Whoops. Vol'Jin, he were sayin' dis is de exact wrong ting to do.
Donda looked around at da devasation of Azshara. "Deathwing bursts free, causing earthquakes and floods, and the world's gone mad. The Horde allies with goblins, and the next thing you know, they bomb Azshara so that it looks like the Horde symbol. Just look at the ruin of this place. Just listen to the spirits of nature crying out. Or, in your teachings, the loa of this place."
Dey were cryin' out, dat for sure.
"What be happenin' now?" I asked.
"Dunno," he said. "We could try joining the Cenarion Circle."
"De Cenarion Circle? Wit' all dem elves?"
"Annekah, the Horde *and* the Alliance are going to attack us on sight. You don't have that many options at this point. Yes, I know trolls don't think much of the elves, and they won't like you very much either, but at least they won't be cutting your hands off for standing up for yourself and for nature."
Dat was da day it all changed.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
In which we be havin' words
So's my RL Avatar told me, "Right Annekah my girl, we goin' to Azshara and Ashenvale to do da quests dere and kill some elves like I know you wants to. Mabbe dere's some cool story I'm missin'." 'xcept not quite like that, he were all fancy-pants-like.
In other news, Donda, he sayin' I should be learnin' grammar and suchlike.
In other other news, well, Donda and I, we had Words. All capital-W Words and suchlike.
Donda: So, Annekah, I see you have learned bear form.
Me: Yup yup!
Donda: (That annoying smile / smirk on his face) So, how was your meeting with the Great Bear Spirit?
Me: Da who?
Donda: The Great Bear Spirit. Surely you met him, and talked to him about the strength of heart and the strength of body.
Me: Never heard anytin' about no Great Bear Spirit. Though my trainer Sesebi said somethin' about da bear loa when teachin' me bear form.
Donda: Sesebi just... taught you the form? Just like that? But... but... what about Aquatic form? Did you go through the trials for those?
Me: What trials you talkin' about, mon? I just learnt it from Sesebi, dis time it were all about de loas of da sea.
Den he went off and stated grumblin' 'bout how it was back in his day, and how he had to walk uphill both ways in da snow, and suchlike. He also said somethin' about Sesebi which I'm not writin' here because it weren't so nice.
If I was havin' to go through huge big quests and trials just to learn tings I dunno if I'd even made it to my fifteenth season, but here I be at twenty-two seasons.
In other news, Donda, he sayin' I should be learnin' grammar and suchlike.
In other other news, well, Donda and I, we had Words. All capital-W Words and suchlike.
Donda: So, Annekah, I see you have learned bear form.
Me: Yup yup!
Donda: (That annoying smile / smirk on his face) So, how was your meeting with the Great Bear Spirit?
Me: Da who?
Donda: The Great Bear Spirit. Surely you met him, and talked to him about the strength of heart and the strength of body.
Me: Never heard anytin' about no Great Bear Spirit. Though my trainer Sesebi said somethin' about da bear loa when teachin' me bear form.
Donda: Sesebi just... taught you the form? Just like that? But... but... what about Aquatic form? Did you go through the trials for those?
Me: What trials you talkin' about, mon? I just learnt it from Sesebi, dis time it were all about de loas of da sea.
Den he went off and stated grumblin' 'bout how it was back in his day, and how he had to walk uphill both ways in da snow, and suchlike. He also said somethin' about Sesebi which I'm not writin' here because it weren't so nice.
If I was havin' to go through huge big quests and trials just to learn tings I dunno if I'd even made it to my fifteenth season, but here I be at twenty-two seasons.
Monday, November 29, 2010
In which Annekah loses out to a holy cow
Hey dere mon.
Donda, he say I be excited, and I am, but tings also suck, you know? We trolls no longer be favourites in da Horde. We be fourth class at best. Vol'jin perhaps be a bit silly and confrontational when dealin' with Garrosh.
Oh, and da Shattering was *frightening*! Dere we was on the Echo Isles, rebuilding, when this great big tidal wave came bearing down on us from da east. Tidal waves absolutely *suck* when you be on a set of small islands.
Still, we Darkspear trolls be survivors, and dis time were no different. We scraped tings back togetha again, started rebuildin' again, and we're on the Echo Isles again. Also supposedly we be in da Horde, and Vol'Jin tell us we need to stay loyal to da Horde, but half da trolls you meet dese days are fed up with da whole mess. We was followin' Thrall. Now he's who-knows-where and we gots Warchief Cle fthoof-Dung-For-Brains instead.
De big news, at least for me, is dat I now a druid! Once we Darkspears were all set up on da Echo Isles, Zen'Tabra started her teachin'.
Sadly I had ta say goodbye to my pet raptor George. I left him wit' de raptor trainers and I'll get him as a mount a bit later. De trainers, dey say he really fierce, and I'll need to be a whole lot more seasoned than I am now before I can get him back as a ridin' raptor.
Anyhow, so now I be a druid!
Some news about trolls druiding is dat, well, Zen'Tabra told a little lie. Back when we retook da Echo Isles from Zalazane, she said dat de troll druids been around for a really long time. Truth is, troll druis only been around a few years. Da lie was told to spook Zalazane. Considering he dead now, it was a very useful lie but we don't need it no more.
Druidin' be weird, you be workin' wit more than one loa at a time. Before, your average troll would work wit' just one at a time. But Zen'Tabra, she were contacted by Gonk, the raptor loa, tellin' us da world is in a right fine mess and we need to work wit' nature and all de loa of de earth at once. When de raptor loa tells you dat, it be time to listen, and act on what he be sayin'.
De night elves were surprised by us troll druids though, dat for sure!
I been concentratin' on adventurin', and helpin' to clear up after da Shattering and Durotar went and gettin' half-flooded by all da waves. So's I not been concentratin' so much on writin' about my adventures. I find I got twenty two seasons under my belt already! And Donda, he were wantin' me to write about druiding from my very first season. Whoops!
So here I am, writin' about my first seasons of druiding.
Startin' out
De Echo Isles, dey comin' along nicely. We got a *huge* trainin' area for all de new recruits. De first few seasons, they were all about trainin' to be a druid, and the proper balancin' of speices populations and suchlike. Sometimes you gots to be nasty and kill a creature or two or ten, but den, Nature is sometimes cruel and nasty too.
After I was done trainin', I helped out wit' de raptor trainers, and then the naga, along with the twice-damned Sea Witch, invaded the Echo Isles!
We Darkspear, we're survivors... but this time, we didn't have to run to survive. We done enough runnin'. This time we stood and fought!
'xcept, we young'uns weren't quite powerful enough so it was mainly Vol'Jin fightin' the Sea Witch, and us runnin' around and helpin' by keeping other nasties off his back.
I tell you, seein' her dead body flop down like a sack of raptor eggs was really quite somethin'. She took Sen'Jin from us, she drove us from our homes, and we finally gots some revenge at last.
Vol'Jin also told us a bit about his history wit' Warchief Clefthoof-Dung-For-Brains. Seems Vol'Jin and Garrosh had a bit of an argument, and Vol'Jin went and all but gave Garrosh a death threat. Not de smartest ting to say to da Warchief.
Vol'Jin also contacted Thrall, and said he was tinkin' of leavin' da Horde. Thrall said a lot of tings dat, basically meanin' no, and Vol'Jin is reconsiderin'.
"I was bein' perhaps a bit rash and angry," Vol'Jin told us young trolls. "But even though Garrosh got raptor guano for brains, he might still be able ta keep da Horde together, and we got ta be strong members of da Horde."
Me, I wonder a bit about Thrall meself. He says he done been havin' trouble wit' keepin' da Horde together, but he seemed much better at it than Garrosh Hellscream ever could be. And Thrall says Garrosh be strong enough to keep da Horde together, but does Thrall know about us trolls now bein' fourth-rate citizens? Does Thrall know about what happened wit' Cairne Bloodhoof? Does he know about Garrosh leadin' us all down de dark road of war, dat de orcs been down before?
To Sen'Jin village, Razor Hill, and Durotar
So after de battle wit' de naga, and Vol'Jin tellin' us ta be good little members of da Horde, it were time to head out into de world.
Sen'Jin village were next on da list. Dere not much to say about my old stompin' grounds, though it were nice to see a flight master dere. Dis makes it much easier to get around Durotar.
De Alliance drove out all de centaur from south Durotar, which is nice, but now dey're settin' up down dere and plannin' to attack us and Orgrimmar, which is bad, so it was time go show dem whatfor.
Also went ta Razor Hill, meetin' Tednug and Scratchfever on de way. Dey say he had something ta do wit' de Echo Isles, Zalazane, and Mankrik's wife, Razor Hill, and finally de Crossroads. "Best ya don't know," he said ta me and walked on.
From Razor Hill I got some missions to patrol around Durotar and help people in trouble because of da floods.
To da Crossroads!
Eventually I was sent to the Barrens.
By all de loa, de Barrens gone and been right shattered. Dere's a great big canyon in de middle, splitting the north from the south. De south seems a bit chaotic and overgrown, from what everyone been sayin', but I haven't gone down there to check yet.
I started off at Farwatch post, on de very edge of da Barrens. Dey was impressed wit' my abilities and had me defend a supply caravan on its trip to da crossroads. Dere was human bandit attacks, and quillboar attacks, and dere was a stop at dis farm which I can't remember much of 'xcept for the fact I met the legendary Mankrik. He got a bit of a thing about quillboars, understandable as dey killed his wife. He had me kill a whole lotta quillboars for him.
Den we finally made it to da Crossroads, and I went to check out oases and unusual plant growth and such.
And onwards from de Northern Barrens!
De problem now is, da Horde is now tellin' me I gots to go to Ashenvale and to Azshara, so's off I went.
Ashenvale meant seein' a whole lotta cut down trees, Azshara meant a land half blown up by da Bilgewater goblins already, and dey both meant fightin' against da night elves.
I be a good proper Darkspear troll, meanin' I got lotsa stories when growin' up about how elves of any sort are nasty pieces of work what took all de troll land away tousands of years ago. Dunno how much of dat is true, 'specially considerin' how most trolls dese days don't seem dat interested in takin' all dat land back. Still, I not be likin' elves dat much.
'xcept, dey're only defending demselves against Warchief Clefthoof-Dung-For-Brains, and showin' us whatfor. Like us defendin' against da incursions of da Alliance in Durotar. Also, I not be a big fan of all de totally unnecessary cuttin' down of de trees, even if it is a good way to annoy de elves. I was findin' myself torn, and actually on de side of da elves for once.
Dat's another thing against Warchief Clefthoof-Dung-For-Brains. He be such a moron he went and made me kinda sorta side wit' da elves! How is dat even possible, I wants to know.
Groups and instances
I done gone through Ragefire Chasm, de Wailing Caverns, and de Deadmines, usin' my recently-learned bear form. I not bein' much of a kung-fu bear yet, only knowin' two attacks, though I can scare people witless wit' a huge big demoralisin' roar right in de face, and make myself scary and threatenin' wit' dis really nasty growlin'. Makes 'em want to fight me rather than anybody else.
Dere been a couple of mishaps, where de others charge ahead and start hittin' baddies before I can even do my scarier-than-I-really-am trick, and den dey go and get all offended when de baddies splat dem before I've even had a chance to get de baddies' attention. Den de others in da group go and blame me.
Hello, Mister Fancy Pants Mage What Have Fire Oozing Out Of His Hair, when a baddie gets hit by great big flamin' balls of fire, he not so interested in de big ferocious bear desperately running at him tryin' to get his attention, he lookin' for da mage in de back in his sissy dress. P'raps next time, you could wait until I start hittin' things before unloading great big flamin' balls of firey death?
'xcept den everyone turned to da Tauren Paladin and bascially said, "She sucks, you tank."
Gee, way to make a girl feel needed, you morons.
I am glad to say I left dem morons behind, and went and found another, much more sensible, group, and dat we den went our merry way through de Deadmines wit' almost noone dyin' and people actually bein' sensible about lettin' me hit things first.
Donda, he say I be excited, and I am, but tings also suck, you know? We trolls no longer be favourites in da Horde. We be fourth class at best. Vol'jin perhaps be a bit silly and confrontational when dealin' with Garrosh.
Oh, and da Shattering was *frightening*! Dere we was on the Echo Isles, rebuilding, when this great big tidal wave came bearing down on us from da east. Tidal waves absolutely *suck* when you be on a set of small islands.
Still, we Darkspear trolls be survivors, and dis time were no different. We scraped tings back togetha again, started rebuildin' again, and we're on the Echo Isles again. Also supposedly we be in da Horde, and Vol'Jin tell us we need to stay loyal to da Horde, but half da trolls you meet dese days are fed up with da whole mess. We was followin' Thrall. Now he's who-knows-where and we gots Warchief Cle fthoof-Dung-For-Brains instead.
De big news, at least for me, is dat I now a druid! Once we Darkspears were all set up on da Echo Isles, Zen'Tabra started her teachin'.
Sadly I had ta say goodbye to my pet raptor George. I left him wit' de raptor trainers and I'll get him as a mount a bit later. De trainers, dey say he really fierce, and I'll need to be a whole lot more seasoned than I am now before I can get him back as a ridin' raptor.
Anyhow, so now I be a druid!
Some news about trolls druiding is dat, well, Zen'Tabra told a little lie. Back when we retook da Echo Isles from Zalazane, she said dat de troll druids been around for a really long time. Truth is, troll druis only been around a few years. Da lie was told to spook Zalazane. Considering he dead now, it was a very useful lie but we don't need it no more.
Druidin' be weird, you be workin' wit more than one loa at a time. Before, your average troll would work wit' just one at a time. But Zen'Tabra, she were contacted by Gonk, the raptor loa, tellin' us da world is in a right fine mess and we need to work wit' nature and all de loa of de earth at once. When de raptor loa tells you dat, it be time to listen, and act on what he be sayin'.
De night elves were surprised by us troll druids though, dat for sure!
I been concentratin' on adventurin', and helpin' to clear up after da Shattering and Durotar went and gettin' half-flooded by all da waves. So's I not been concentratin' so much on writin' about my adventures. I find I got twenty two seasons under my belt already! And Donda, he were wantin' me to write about druiding from my very first season. Whoops!
So here I am, writin' about my first seasons of druiding.
Startin' out
De Echo Isles, dey comin' along nicely. We got a *huge* trainin' area for all de new recruits. De first few seasons, they were all about trainin' to be a druid, and the proper balancin' of speices populations and suchlike. Sometimes you gots to be nasty and kill a creature or two or ten, but den, Nature is sometimes cruel and nasty too.
After I was done trainin', I helped out wit' de raptor trainers, and then the naga, along with the twice-damned Sea Witch, invaded the Echo Isles!
We Darkspear, we're survivors... but this time, we didn't have to run to survive. We done enough runnin'. This time we stood and fought!
'xcept, we young'uns weren't quite powerful enough so it was mainly Vol'Jin fightin' the Sea Witch, and us runnin' around and helpin' by keeping other nasties off his back.
I tell you, seein' her dead body flop down like a sack of raptor eggs was really quite somethin'. She took Sen'Jin from us, she drove us from our homes, and we finally gots some revenge at last.
Vol'Jin also told us a bit about his history wit' Warchief Clefthoof-Dung-For-Brains. Seems Vol'Jin and Garrosh had a bit of an argument, and Vol'Jin went and all but gave Garrosh a death threat. Not de smartest ting to say to da Warchief.
Vol'Jin also contacted Thrall, and said he was tinkin' of leavin' da Horde. Thrall said a lot of tings dat, basically meanin' no, and Vol'Jin is reconsiderin'.
"I was bein' perhaps a bit rash and angry," Vol'Jin told us young trolls. "But even though Garrosh got raptor guano for brains, he might still be able ta keep da Horde together, and we got ta be strong members of da Horde."
Me, I wonder a bit about Thrall meself. He says he done been havin' trouble wit' keepin' da Horde together, but he seemed much better at it than Garrosh Hellscream ever could be. And Thrall says Garrosh be strong enough to keep da Horde together, but does Thrall know about us trolls now bein' fourth-rate citizens? Does Thrall know about what happened wit' Cairne Bloodhoof? Does he know about Garrosh leadin' us all down de dark road of war, dat de orcs been down before?
To Sen'Jin village, Razor Hill, and Durotar
So after de battle wit' de naga, and Vol'Jin tellin' us ta be good little members of da Horde, it were time to head out into de world.
Sen'Jin village were next on da list. Dere not much to say about my old stompin' grounds, though it were nice to see a flight master dere. Dis makes it much easier to get around Durotar.
De Alliance drove out all de centaur from south Durotar, which is nice, but now dey're settin' up down dere and plannin' to attack us and Orgrimmar, which is bad, so it was time go show dem whatfor.
Also went ta Razor Hill, meetin' Tednug and Scratchfever on de way. Dey say he had something ta do wit' de Echo Isles, Zalazane, and Mankrik's wife, Razor Hill, and finally de Crossroads. "Best ya don't know," he said ta me and walked on.
From Razor Hill I got some missions to patrol around Durotar and help people in trouble because of da floods.
To da Crossroads!
Eventually I was sent to the Barrens.
By all de loa, de Barrens gone and been right shattered. Dere's a great big canyon in de middle, splitting the north from the south. De south seems a bit chaotic and overgrown, from what everyone been sayin', but I haven't gone down there to check yet.
I started off at Farwatch post, on de very edge of da Barrens. Dey was impressed wit' my abilities and had me defend a supply caravan on its trip to da crossroads. Dere was human bandit attacks, and quillboar attacks, and dere was a stop at dis farm which I can't remember much of 'xcept for the fact I met the legendary Mankrik. He got a bit of a thing about quillboars, understandable as dey killed his wife. He had me kill a whole lotta quillboars for him.
Den we finally made it to da Crossroads, and I went to check out oases and unusual plant growth and such.
And onwards from de Northern Barrens!
De problem now is, da Horde is now tellin' me I gots to go to Ashenvale and to Azshara, so's off I went.
Ashenvale meant seein' a whole lotta cut down trees, Azshara meant a land half blown up by da Bilgewater goblins already, and dey both meant fightin' against da night elves.
I be a good proper Darkspear troll, meanin' I got lotsa stories when growin' up about how elves of any sort are nasty pieces of work what took all de troll land away tousands of years ago. Dunno how much of dat is true, 'specially considerin' how most trolls dese days don't seem dat interested in takin' all dat land back. Still, I not be likin' elves dat much.
'xcept, dey're only defending demselves against Warchief Clefthoof-Dung-For-Brains, and showin' us whatfor. Like us defendin' against da incursions of da Alliance in Durotar. Also, I not be a big fan of all de totally unnecessary cuttin' down of de trees, even if it is a good way to annoy de elves. I was findin' myself torn, and actually on de side of da elves for once.
Dat's another thing against Warchief Clefthoof-Dung-For-Brains. He be such a moron he went and made me kinda sorta side wit' da elves! How is dat even possible, I wants to know.
Groups and instances
I done gone through Ragefire Chasm, de Wailing Caverns, and de Deadmines, usin' my recently-learned bear form. I not bein' much of a kung-fu bear yet, only knowin' two attacks, though I can scare people witless wit' a huge big demoralisin' roar right in de face, and make myself scary and threatenin' wit' dis really nasty growlin'. Makes 'em want to fight me rather than anybody else.
Dere been a couple of mishaps, where de others charge ahead and start hittin' baddies before I can even do my scarier-than-I-really-am trick, and den dey go and get all offended when de baddies splat dem before I've even had a chance to get de baddies' attention. Den de others in da group go and blame me.
Hello, Mister Fancy Pants Mage What Have Fire Oozing Out Of His Hair, when a baddie gets hit by great big flamin' balls of fire, he not so interested in de big ferocious bear desperately running at him tryin' to get his attention, he lookin' for da mage in de back in his sissy dress. P'raps next time, you could wait until I start hittin' things before unloading great big flamin' balls of firey death?
'xcept den everyone turned to da Tauren Paladin and bascially said, "She sucks, you tank."
Gee, way to make a girl feel needed, you morons.
I am glad to say I left dem morons behind, and went and found another, much more sensible, group, and dat we den went our merry way through de Deadmines wit' almost noone dyin' and people actually bein' sensible about lettin' me hit things first.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Alright, *that* almost felt like the End of the World
It's official - Garrosh Hellscream makes the worst decisions ever and is the worst warchief imaginable. I'm with Vol'Jin - Garrosh is no Warchief of mine.
I miss Cairne. If only *he* had won that duel with Garrosh. Then we'd have a sensible leader in charge of the Horde, and we wouldn't have to put up with Garrosh's idiocy.
Orgrimmar has been rebuilt after getting rather wrecked during the Shattering. Problem is, Garrosh (may the murdering idiot be cursed forevermore) was in charge of the rebuilding and now the place is all black and spiky and looks like it's made of saronite.
Orgrimmar is now also extremely racially segregated. Thrall was a true leader, that tried to bring us all together. Garrosh just polarises everyone and has pushed the trolls to the edges. I dropped in to check out the troll district - they're downstream from the goblin slums and their terrible pollution.
Once upon a time, before the Horde came to Kalimdor, I thought of all trolls as savage cannibalistic barbarians. So it's rather odd that I like them so much more than anyone else in the Horde and feel sorry for how Garrosh is treating them.
With Orgrimmar rebuilt, I once again find myself getting lost all the time. Once upon a time the guards put up with me constantly asking for directions as I tried to make my way around their city. Now they're extremely aggressive and almost hostile to my requests for simple directions.
I'm just going to avoid Orgrimmar as much as possible.
Another place I'm avoiding is Ashenvale. Thrall kept the Warsong clan in check, slowing down their lumber efforts in Ashenvale. But with Garrosh in charge, who decides to solve problems with axes rather than words? Who's rebuilt Orgrimmar with a suspiciously large amount of wood? Who's wearing giant tree branches around his neck and shoulders? I dread to think what he's done to Ashenvale.
The day before the Shattering, before everything changed - I was fighting alongside Cairne in the elemental invasions. I feel honoured to have fought alongside him at least once.
I still miss him.
In other news, Annekah has been living at the reclaimed Echo Isles for a while, and has finally started training as a druid. She says she's got lots of pictures and is just brimming with excitement. I'm glad one of us is excited. Me? I dread where the world is going.
I miss Cairne. If only *he* had won that duel with Garrosh. Then we'd have a sensible leader in charge of the Horde, and we wouldn't have to put up with Garrosh's idiocy.
Orgrimmar has been rebuilt after getting rather wrecked during the Shattering. Problem is, Garrosh (may the murdering idiot be cursed forevermore) was in charge of the rebuilding and now the place is all black and spiky and looks like it's made of saronite.
Orgrimmar is now also extremely racially segregated. Thrall was a true leader, that tried to bring us all together. Garrosh just polarises everyone and has pushed the trolls to the edges. I dropped in to check out the troll district - they're downstream from the goblin slums and their terrible pollution.
Once upon a time, before the Horde came to Kalimdor, I thought of all trolls as savage cannibalistic barbarians. So it's rather odd that I like them so much more than anyone else in the Horde and feel sorry for how Garrosh is treating them.
With Orgrimmar rebuilt, I once again find myself getting lost all the time. Once upon a time the guards put up with me constantly asking for directions as I tried to make my way around their city. Now they're extremely aggressive and almost hostile to my requests for simple directions.
I'm just going to avoid Orgrimmar as much as possible.
Another place I'm avoiding is Ashenvale. Thrall kept the Warsong clan in check, slowing down their lumber efforts in Ashenvale. But with Garrosh in charge, who decides to solve problems with axes rather than words? Who's rebuilt Orgrimmar with a suspiciously large amount of wood? Who's wearing giant tree branches around his neck and shoulders? I dread to think what he's done to Ashenvale.
The day before the Shattering, before everything changed - I was fighting alongside Cairne in the elemental invasions. I feel honoured to have fought alongside him at least once.
I still miss him.
In other news, Annekah has been living at the reclaimed Echo Isles for a while, and has finally started training as a druid. She says she's got lots of pictures and is just brimming with excitement. I'm glad one of us is excited. Me? I dread where the world is going.
Monday, November 8, 2010
I feel fine, and it really isn't the end of the world
Hail and well met, gentle readers, even if it has been a while since I last wrote. Things are just slow these days, you know? There's only so many cooking assignments you can do, and only so many fishing expeditions you can go on.
Except things are actually heating up! As I found when I was in Orgrimmar recently. Which is weird, because I tend to avoid Orgrimmar.
I think it's because I once found it a very confusing place to get around in, and couldn't find my way *anywhere*. I was constantly asking the guards directions. It's got to the point where if a guard sees me approaching, he or she tenses up, with an "oh no, it's *him*, here we go again" look on his or her face. Even though I can now get around the place fine.
But even though I can now find my way around Orgrimmar, I still tend to avoid the place. It makes no rhyme nor reason, but there it is.
But there are times when you do have to go there. It's the biggest of the Horde's cities and the most cosmopolitan. It has the most trainers, the most commerce, and - most useful of all, considering how many earthquakes we've been having lately - it's not on the top of extremely high mesas.
(Though it is in the middle of a canyon, which could break and fall on us if there was some cataclysmic earthquake, so I suppose it's not much better.)
Anyway, so there I was, in Orgrimmar... and there sure are a lot of worried citizens these days. If the increasing earthquakes weren't bad enough, it turns out there are lots of disappearing family members. And cultists. Don't forget the crazy cultists. They're all over the Drag, going on about how the end of the world is nigh, and promising some sort of nonsense about a higher plane of existence after death, and trying to recruit new members.
Hence a lot of the disappearing citizens - they've gone and joined the cult.
I can understand why people would be worried - after all, there are all the earthquakes. Not to mention, Thrall's handing the position of Warchief over to Garrosh Hellscream. Some orcs might like that. Others are like, "Wibba-WHAT?" There hasn't been any formal announcement yet, but some adventurers went in to Grommash Hold on business, accidentally overheard, and the news is all over the place now.
What's really annoying a lot of people is that during the handing-over, Thrall apparently said Garrosh had the strength and courage to lead the Horde. What about Cairne, or Vol'Jin, who are both on Kalimdor and close by? They aren't strong or courageous enough? Bah.
(But I suppose this at least explains why Garrosh is now wearing a great big branch around his neck and shoulders... Maybe.)
Anyway. Where was I? Oh, right, the crazy cultists.
Well, to cut a long story short, a whole bunch of adventurers infiltrated the cult to learn its secrets. You've probably heard it all from them already. A quick summary - this new cult is being led by Cho'gall, leader of the Twilight's Hammer and overall piece of bad news. The cult is taking advantage of the earthquakes and the unease of the populace, not to mention they're smuggling fire elementals into the city. Fortunately everyone's doing their level best to get rid of the elementals.
You would think the cult is starting to get suspicious because of all the 'new recruits' who show up once and never come back. Not so, said Blood Guard Torek.
"Now that the guards have been tipped off, we catch cultists smuggling in the fire elementals a few times every day. Actual cultists, many of them dumb enough to wear their robes and suspiciously bulging packs. The cult must be used to losing members on these smuggling runs. It's probably why they're recruiting all the time."
All this has made me think of starting a cult of my own. It would be the Adventurer Cult. So much of what people worry about is along the lines of, "life is so unfair, I don't understand why the world is in such a mess, and wow I'm really scared about dying and is there anything after death?" The Adventurer Cult answers so many of these questions!
1) Life unfair? You get to go out and beat on something with a big stick, or balls of fire, or an equivalent, and somebody will pay you lots of gold to do so. While life may still be unfair this is very therapeutic.
2) Once you get an RL avatar, you learn that a lot of your troubles are for their amusement. Unfair? Well, sure. But you still get to beat up something with a big stick or big balls of fire *and* get paid to do it rather than asked to stop!
3) If you die in the course of your adventures, the spirit healer will help you return to life, at no extra charge.
Except things are actually heating up! As I found when I was in Orgrimmar recently. Which is weird, because I tend to avoid Orgrimmar.
I think it's because I once found it a very confusing place to get around in, and couldn't find my way *anywhere*. I was constantly asking the guards directions. It's got to the point where if a guard sees me approaching, he or she tenses up, with an "oh no, it's *him*, here we go again" look on his or her face. Even though I can now get around the place fine.
But even though I can now find my way around Orgrimmar, I still tend to avoid the place. It makes no rhyme nor reason, but there it is.
But there are times when you do have to go there. It's the biggest of the Horde's cities and the most cosmopolitan. It has the most trainers, the most commerce, and - most useful of all, considering how many earthquakes we've been having lately - it's not on the top of extremely high mesas.
(Though it is in the middle of a canyon, which could break and fall on us if there was some cataclysmic earthquake, so I suppose it's not much better.)
Anyway, so there I was, in Orgrimmar... and there sure are a lot of worried citizens these days. If the increasing earthquakes weren't bad enough, it turns out there are lots of disappearing family members. And cultists. Don't forget the crazy cultists. They're all over the Drag, going on about how the end of the world is nigh, and promising some sort of nonsense about a higher plane of existence after death, and trying to recruit new members.
Hence a lot of the disappearing citizens - they've gone and joined the cult.
I can understand why people would be worried - after all, there are all the earthquakes. Not to mention, Thrall's handing the position of Warchief over to Garrosh Hellscream. Some orcs might like that. Others are like, "Wibba-WHAT?" There hasn't been any formal announcement yet, but some adventurers went in to Grommash Hold on business, accidentally overheard, and the news is all over the place now.
What's really annoying a lot of people is that during the handing-over, Thrall apparently said Garrosh had the strength and courage to lead the Horde. What about Cairne, or Vol'Jin, who are both on Kalimdor and close by? They aren't strong or courageous enough? Bah.
(But I suppose this at least explains why Garrosh is now wearing a great big branch around his neck and shoulders... Maybe.)
Anyway. Where was I? Oh, right, the crazy cultists.
Well, to cut a long story short, a whole bunch of adventurers infiltrated the cult to learn its secrets. You've probably heard it all from them already. A quick summary - this new cult is being led by Cho'gall, leader of the Twilight's Hammer and overall piece of bad news. The cult is taking advantage of the earthquakes and the unease of the populace, not to mention they're smuggling fire elementals into the city. Fortunately everyone's doing their level best to get rid of the elementals.
You would think the cult is starting to get suspicious because of all the 'new recruits' who show up once and never come back. Not so, said Blood Guard Torek.
"Now that the guards have been tipped off, we catch cultists smuggling in the fire elementals a few times every day. Actual cultists, many of them dumb enough to wear their robes and suspiciously bulging packs. The cult must be used to losing members on these smuggling runs. It's probably why they're recruiting all the time."
All this has made me think of starting a cult of my own. It would be the Adventurer Cult. So much of what people worry about is along the lines of, "life is so unfair, I don't understand why the world is in such a mess, and wow I'm really scared about dying and is there anything after death?" The Adventurer Cult answers so many of these questions!
1) Life unfair? You get to go out and beat on something with a big stick, or balls of fire, or an equivalent, and somebody will pay you lots of gold to do so. While life may still be unfair this is very therapeutic.
2) Once you get an RL avatar, you learn that a lot of your troubles are for their amusement. Unfair? Well, sure. But you still get to beat up something with a big stick or big balls of fire *and* get paid to do it rather than asked to stop!
3) If you die in the course of your adventures, the spirit healer will help you return to life, at no extra charge.
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